A Personal Wheelie Manifesto

"Aaron Vick Starnes" (aaronstarnes) 09/02/2016 at 12:46 • Filed to: wheelie time

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I’ve been riding motorcycles for 13 years now, and in that time I have not managed to teach myself to ride a wheelie. Well excuses be damned. Now is the winter of my discontent, made glorious summer by the one wheel ride.

I got my first bike when I was 18 because “I’m 18 now and you can’t tell me what to do any more mom!” Ahem, uh, the neighbor down the street had an old Honda CB200T leaning up against a fence. One day I caught him outside and asked him about the bike. He went straight inside and came out with the title saying I could have the bike for nothing if I would push it home.

I worked and worked on that bike. It was a lost cause which I ended up pulverizing with a sledge hammer before dragging it to the scrap yard. But the motorcycle dream never died.

Over the years I got my hands on more and more bikes, I won’t bore you with the list but you can see some of them !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . I cut my teeth on my second bike, a CL100 that I got for $50. I fixed it up a little, learned a lot and rode it everywhere. After that success I was hooked. I’d buy something off craigslist, get it running and riding and then sell it for more after I was done playing with it. It’s a formula that still works for me.

I rode my Honda 350 to college graduation.

So what about the wheelies?

Is this entry just a bragging montage about my motorcycles? No, it’s an admission and a manifesto. In all that time riding, I never taught myself to wheelie properly. I can rev it up and let the clutch go, but that’s not really what it’s about. What I’m looking to do is conquer that fear that forces my right hand to snap the throttle shut when the front wheel begins to approach the point of awesomeness.

Photo cred: www.cb750cafe.com

I want to build the skills I need to ride an elegant, effortless looking wheelie. I’m not saying I want to terrorize the streets like this, but these guys from !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! make wheelies look so easy. So, I’m finally committing to practice until I get it right.

Until very recently, as in this week, I was between bikes. I needed some hardware. I scanned craigslist until I found something I could afford. I went in halfsies with a bud, and for $380 bucks we got 200cc’s of Chinese horsepower. I know what you’re thinking, “Ugh, what? Chinese bikes are terrible and under powered with awful build quality and blah blah blah.” To that I have this to say: A, you’re absolutely right, and B, what better bike to hammer daily until I get it right? Nobody will cry if, in my quest for one wheeled glory, I kill a terrible bike. Plus it’s my money, and I’ll do what I want internet!

What’s the big deal about wheelies?

Well, I guess a psychologist would say that I’m trying to display power, equivalent to a gorilla beating his chest. A Freudian psychologist might stroke their beard and say something about erections. In any case, it’s a skill I want to learn. If !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! was right, and we are what we will ourselves to be, I want to be a person capable of pulling and sustaining a wheelie, and I’m gonna do it dammit!

Aaron Vick Starnes is an unemployed motor-journalist currently on the road at home chasing the American Dream. Follow him on Twitter !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! and check out the rest of his !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .

shop-teacher > Aaron Vick Starnes 09/02/2016 at 12:57

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Good luck!

Manny05x > Aaron Vick Starnes 09/02/2016 at 13:04

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Good write up. I wants to wheelies/:

rachel > Aaron Vick Starnes 09/02/2016 at 13:20

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Please be careful

bob and john > Aaron Vick Starnes 09/02/2016 at 13:31

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DANK WHOOLIES BRUH!

tip: eyes up. look to the horizon. slide your butt back in the seat and let the little edge there hold you.

Aaron Vick Starnes > bob and john 09/02/2016 at 13:32

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Thanks for the tip and for reading me.

bob and john > Aaron Vick Starnes 09/02/2016 at 13:37

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hehe./ first time I did a wheelie was total fluke. launched off a light, spun the tire, hooked up and lifted the nose. RIGHT to the balance point and held it. it was great. never did another one quite as nice.

Aaron Vick Starnes > bob and john 09/02/2016 at 13:38

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You say balance point, I hear terror point. Thanks for the comment!

bob and john > Aaron Vick Starnes 09/02/2016 at 13:43

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yea, thats pretty much the same with me. since that, the only wheelies i’ve done have been at the point where you chick out too lol. But not that I have that DR, I might start learning with a little more gusto.

Spaze > Aaron Vick Starnes 09/02/2016 at 13:44

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Its funny you post this I can also, not wheelie. I’ve never learned the skill even though a few of the guys I used to ride with were VERY talented with balancing their motorcycles. It’s something I need to learn as well.So good luck!

CRider > Aaron Vick Starnes 09/02/2016 at 13:49

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Pickup_man > Aaron Vick Starnes 09/02/2016 at 13:55

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Been riding around seven years, have never even had a front wheel off the ground. Multiple reasons really, my XJ750 is awfully heavy, I value my Sportster too much to try, and I’ve never had a dirt bike until recently, and it’s not running well enough yet for shenanigans. I will learn at some point though.

Chris Clarke > Aaron Vick Starnes 09/02/2016 at 14:04

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Pro tip: Don’t wheelie in the dark.

just-a-scratch > Aaron Vick Starnes 09/02/2016 at 14:21

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It get it. I also feel like I’m missing important, if pointless, skills. I have not mastered wheelies or burnouts.

My greater shame is that my knee sliders are not scuffed. pristine. and old.

Decay buys too many beaters > Aaron Vick Starnes 09/02/2016 at 14:39

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This is where I’m at also, finally actively working on it ever since I bought my DR-Z.

Protip, practice riding at balance point on a bicycle, the skills translate and it has a much lower “golly, I didn’t quite get that right” pain and cost threshold.

Aaron Vick Starnes > Chris Clarke 09/02/2016 at 14:52

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Lol.

Aaron Vick Starnes > Pickup_man 09/02/2016 at 14:53

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I envy the guys that pull the wheel on heavies like Goldwings and choppers. Crazy.

Aaron Vick Starnes > Decay buys too many beaters 09/02/2016 at 14:54

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Ha. Probably sound advice.

Aaron Vick Starnes > just-a-scratch 09/02/2016 at 14:55

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The good news for you is that burnouts are easy to learn.

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > Aaron Vick Starnes 09/02/2016 at 14:57

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I can wheelie my MTB...

DipodomysDeserti > Aaron Vick Starnes 09/02/2016 at 15:39

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My first wheelie was on accident. My hands were sweaty and I accidently dumped the clutch on my Sv650 which already had a larger rear sprocket. My girlfriend saw me from the driveway and was royally pissed when I got home as she thought I was just being a douchebag ripping a sweat wheelie through the neighborhood.

just-a-scratch > Aaron Vick Starnes 09/02/2016 at 15:57

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The 1996 328i can spin one tire in the wet, but struggles to break even one loose in the dry.

The 2005 CBR600RR, I haven’t tried to make it do burnouts. I’ve seen too many videos of people losing control. I suppose since it’s recently crashed, I have to learn some of this stuff right?

Aaron Vick Starnes > Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. 09/02/2016 at 16:01

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Excellent.

Stephenson Valve Gear > Aaron Vick Starnes 09/02/2016 at 21:00

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I’m in the same boat. I can get my little Monster on one wheel... but I’m too chicken to even approach the balance point for fear of looping my beautiful red bike onto its back. Wheelie the mountain bike? Sure, long lurid ones using the back brake to keep it pointed skyward. Do it with a motor using a hand throttle? NOPE. I need to follow your lead and buy a cheap dirt bike to hone my throttle skills at the danger zone. Until then, this is the most you will see out of me...

bob and john > Chris Clarke 09/02/2016 at 22:44

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it HAD to be a fucking GSX-R. just had to.